songs and memories

I am not a great fan of music, but an average fan no doubt. Over the last 4 years I have developed this habit of putting on headphones while working in the lab, and playing song after song on Youtube, or turning on my MP3 player and plugging in the earphones while travelling by train/air, or taking strolls in the campus. Before I developed these habits, when I was at home I often listened to songs on TV/radio. It is amazing how certain songs are able to encode the exact feel of a particular time, and can take a person's mind back to that time when played much later. I am 27 now, at the advanced stages of my PhD, and it won't be long before I finish my student life, and my youth. I always have had the habit of looking back, and try to re-live certain times in the past. For this purpose I created a list of songs, which, when listened in a certain sequence, runs me through some of the most memorable times of my post-school student life- B.E., M.E. and Ph.D.

1) Saanson ko saanson me dhalne do zara (Movie: Hum-Tum)

August 2004. First year, first semester in JU. Beginning of a completely new life, not sure how to handle it. A lot of freedom and relaxation on offer, not sure whether to accept it or not. Confusion.

2) Dhoom macha le (Movie: Dhoom)

September 2004. Settling into college life. Freshers' Welcome. The entire class danced on the dias of Gandhi Bhavan to this song.

3) Chand sifarish (Movie: Fanaa)

June 2006. Now settled in JU, with an established circle of friends, and priorities in college life fixed. It was a hot summer, semester exams over, working on the IIM project. Occasional visits to IIM Joka. Often used to go to the JU Architecture lab and work from there. Friends also hung around this lab.

4) Tu hi meri shab hai (Movie: Gangster)

October 2006. Trip to Pune and Mumbai with JBNSTS. Staying away from home with other students (not particularly close friends) for a significant period of time (15 days). Beautiful, serene nights in the Pune University campus.

5) Ya Ali raham Ali (Movie Gangster)

March-April 2007. Insanely busy. Studying hard for GRE. Working on 3 projects simultaneously. Trying to keep up with studies in class, and recover the faltering CGPA. Placements appearing in the horizon. Cracked GRE with an awesome score, but hit by chicken pox less than a week before start of semester exams. Writing exams alone in separate room.

6) Tala tum tala tum (Movie: Aitraaz)

August-September 2007. Academics have become second priority. Preoccupied with the continuing tensions with one of my best friends and my only female friend at that time. Highly disturbed, worried and scared.

7) Ye ishq haai (Movie: Jab We Met)

December 2007. Recovering from the tension just mentioned. Trying to put life in order, and get focus back to academics. TIFR, GATE knocking on the door.

8) Zara si dil mein de jagah tu (Movie: Zannat)

June 2008. B.E. over, and over in the worst way imaginable (keeping academics aside). Emotionally drained and bankrupt. Feeling of loneliness. Unexpected call from IISc. Interaction with would-be classmates over Orkut. Hopes for a happier life in IISc.

9) Where's the party tonite? (Movie: Kabhie Alvida na kehna)

June-July 2009. Completed a depressing first semester and an unthinkably hectic second semster in IISc. Trying to get M.E. project going. Trying to get a hold of a completely unfamiliar but fascinating subject. Rainy days. Class trip to Coorg. Awesome happy experience- revenge of the disastrous JU picnic (Tala tum). Great hopes- project will work out, paper will be published, offer will come from a good US university, and will celebrate by dancing to the beats of this song with friends.

10) Azaadi (Movie: Bose the Forgotten Hero)

November 2009. Time for first paper submission, and also application to US universities. "Insanely busy" too weak a statement. Worked 76 hours in last 4 days before paper submission. Applications completed at last moment. Completely gutted but great hopes.

11) Tu tu hai wahi

May-june 2010. All dreams crushed. M.E. looks average. No publication. No option left but to continue in same place for Ph.D.

12) Dil de diya hai (Movie: Masti)

September 2010. First semster of Ph.D. Missing classmates. Lonely, bored and depressed. Analysis class failing to turn me on. Instead craving for a quick freedom from written exams.

13) Tara Tara Hidisire (Movie: Kempegowda, kannada)

June 2011. Yahoo internship going on. Very busy and strained. Not enough rest. Still satisfied- having too much to do is always better than having nothing to do. Interaction with world outside campus- with other kinds of people.

14) Why this kolaveri di?

November-December 2011. Finally out of the prolonged phase of depression. Trying to make up a new life.

15) Badal pe paon hai (Movie: Chak de India)

First foreign trip. Incredible experience. Returning alone by flight. Spending night alone in Delhi airport- so much life and vigour everywhere. Super excitement.